


Unusual Occurrences at A.Z. Fell and Co.'s

by WritesEveryBlueMoon



Series: That Odd London Bookshop [2]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Aziraphale is "just enough of a bastard to be worth knowing" (Good Omens), Aziraphale's Bookshop (Good Omens), Epistolary, Gen, Humor, POV Outsider, Social Media, Swearing, fun workskin used, this fic is a Weird Mess but it's MY Weird Mess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-13
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-20 08:26:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30002058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WritesEveryBlueMoon/pseuds/WritesEveryBlueMoon
Summary: azfellandqueersCustomer: It’s an outrage that you would sell these books *gestures to shelf of LGBTQ fiction* alongside the word of GodFell: I’m very sorry to hear you think that way. The door is right over there.Customer: You don’t understand - You could go to Hell for this!Fell: Oh, I assure you, the forces of Hell wouldn’t dare return to this shoppretty-pansyObviously his reaction is king shit but I'm sorryReturn???-When the bizzare and amusing habits of Mr A.Z. Fell, bookseller, begin to trend on the internet, those who dwell on various social media sites share their frustrations, confusion, and extraordinarily unusual stories.
Relationships: Aziraphale & Bookshop Customers (Good Omens), Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Series: That Odd London Bookshop [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2194650
Comments: 27
Kudos: 288
Collections: GO-Events Book Fest





	Unusual Occurrences at A.Z. Fell and Co.'s

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so a fic based entirely around social media may seem like a strange choice for a _Book_ Fest, but hear me out: the book that inspired this, Weird Things Customers Say In Bookshops by Jen Campbell, was originally a blog where booksellers could submit their funny stories in quote form. This inspired the original idea behind this fic, although it became a little taken over by other funny stuff.
> 
> This fic features some recurring characters and jokes from The A.Z. Fell and Co. Conspiracy, which is why I have linked them in a series. However, it can be read completely independently, so please don't be discouraged from reading!
> 
> Finally, this fic heavily features a workskin, but can be read with Creator's Style Off. All usernames were made up by me, and I'm very sorry if I accidentally included yours!

Nancy Fisher ✔ @authornancyfish   
  
Anyone else notice that AZ Fell and Co's in #soho is never open, and when it is the owner is weirdly insistent that you not buy anything?   
  
🖤 6002 |  9:03 AM - 10 Jan 2020    
  
992 people are talking about this 

  
  


notnowjerry ⇄ ohkarabast  
  
**lazybee**  
  
seeing as it's been getting a lot of attention recently, here are some bizzare things that've happened when I was in that old soho bookshop:  
  
• the owner grabbed a book from my hand, hurriedly telling me that it happened to be one of the demonically cursed ones and he didn't want to deal with that again  
• this guy in sunglasses was lounging on a chair scrolling his phone, and when I looked back the chair was empty, and the famous snake was slithering around _wearing the same sunglasses_  
• I overheard an old woman asking for this book with a green cover she'd read in the 70s _and he had it_   
  
feel free to add ur own bizzare occurences!  
  
**bells-and-whistles**   
  
a book flew off the shelf and directly into the owners hand. and before u say "what it just fell?" no. physics doesn't work like That    
  
**jeezlou-ise**   
  
i couldve sworn i once saw his pet snake eating a book    
  
**ohkarabast**   
  
Honestly, I think the guy can teleport, bc whenever u so much as pick up a book, he spontaneously appears    
  
**notnowjerry**   
  
This exchange between a guy who looked like Jon Ham, a short dude, and Mr Fell (the owner)  
  
**Not-Jon Hamm:** I'M VERY GLAD TO BE BUYING PORN!  
**Short Dude:** I DO LOVE SOME PORN  
**Not-Jon Hamm:** HOW EASILY EMBARRASED WE HUMANS ARE ABOUT OUR PORNOGRAPHY  
**Fell:** *ushers them into the back room looking embarrassed*  
  
Source: lazybee   
  
#obviously those aren't their exact words but that's p much what happened #most bizzare part was that the book Jon Hamm lookalike was holding was Mrs Beeton's Cookery Book #there's no ressemblance but i think they might be fell's embarrassing cousins or smth   
  
735,204 notes 

  
  


Antiquarian Book Collecting > London Bookshops > Trending A.Z. Fell Callout

**PiperIsaNerd** _10/01/2020_

HAVE YALL SEEN THE MESS HAPPENING ON TWITTER

287 Likes

**Galaxy-Tempest** _10/01/2020_

IKR! like our nonsense? on trending? feels like some kind of fever dream ngl

112 Likes

**cherrytree93** _10/01/2020_

Wait, I'm an Internet hermit outside of ancient book forums, what's happening??

87 Likes

**PiperIsaNerd** _10/01/2020_

Ppl began posting abt Fell on twitter, and now its trending in the UK

185 Likes

**typewriter-clicks** _10/01/2020_

AGDSGJBHSG how many people has our dude annoyed?? 😂

201 Likes

**Galaxy-Tempest** _10/01/2020_

too many, apparently

194 Likes

  
  


**azfellandqueers**  
  
Hello fellow book nerds and disaster queers! Considering the popularity of amusing tales from A.Z. Fell and Co's Antiquarian Bookshop, we decided to make a blog dedicated to our favourite soho cryptid and the unusual occurrences at his abode. We have just a few requests:  
  
• Please remember that this is a real person who is, from all accounts, a kind and important member of the soho community. His policies and events in his store are strange, but that is no excuse to be hateful towards him  
• AZ Fell has a partner/close friend/?? named Crowley (sometimes nicknamed Sunglasses on here), who often appears in posts on this page, any content featuring them both is tagged #az fell and crow. Fond teasing about them is fine, but please be respectful of their relationship  
• Please don't leave stories/submissions in the askbox, they will usually be deleted  
• When submitting a story, please follow the submission guidelines   
  
Enjoy the page, and feel free to send an ask if you have any queries!  
  
📍 **Pinned Post** #intro #info #welcome to the chaos   
  
1942 notes 

  
  


**azfellandqueers**  
  
i once saw someone ask mr fell why all his books are so expensive if theyre so old and it’s honestly the funniest interaction ive ever had the pleasure of witnessing  
  
Submitted by persephonemylove   
  
#submission #az fell and queue   
  
133 notes 

  
  


Henry Sotheran Ltd @Sotherans   
  
slightly miffed that #sohobookshops is trending and I had nothing to do with it   
  
🖤 1793 |  3:20 PM - 17 Jan 2020    
  
345 people are talking about this 

  
  


foreverfckingtired ⇄ pretty-pansy  
  
**foreverfckingtired**  
  
AZ Fell is a gay icon: discuss   
  
**legendof-agatha**   
  
Yes.   
  
**ohkarabast**   
  
we dont need to discuss it ur right  
  
**persephonemylove**   
  
even if him and Sunglasses aren't together, they could definitely be in a qpr or smth  
  
**pretty-pansy**   
  
Forget him and sunglasses, mr fell is a gay icon bc I'm gay and I like him  
  
**foreverfckingtired**   
  
glad to see I regularly interact with people of Taste  
  
Source: foreverfckingtired   
  
234,204 notes 

  
  


**azfellandqueers**  
  
I swear, there was these kids about to run into a bookshelf or smth, but they began floating in mid-air before they could touch anything  
  
Submitted by last-lesbian-standing   
  
#at least they seemed to be having fun? #submission #az fell and queue #pfft give it 10 years and we might see az fells: the daycare   
  
214 notes 

  
  


Antiquarian Book Collecting > London Bookshops > AZ Fell and Queers Tumblr Blog

**theBooksteer** _20/01/2020_

guys this az fell tumblr blog is absolutely hilarious

azfellandqueers.tumblr.com

537 Likes

**PiperIsaNerd** _20/01/2020_

You still use tumblr? 😂

202 Likes

**yayjaysgay** _20/01/2020_

lmfao Piper u can hardly talk, for the rest of the world forums died 15 years ago

163 Likes

**PiperIsaNerd** _20/01/2020_

Rip 😔

99 Likes

**typewriter-clicks** _20/01/2020_

that blog is hilarious but also it feels weird that so many other ppl are in on the az fell love/hate

97 Likes

**theBooksteer** _20/01/2020_

its mostly love over there, to be honest

117 Likes

**PiperIsaNerd** _20/01/2020_

Smh they dont know the true feeling of fury

169 Likes

**yayjaysgay** _20/01/2020_

Piper ur american, you've never even been there

82 Likes

**PiperIsaNerd** _20/01/2020_

Shh that's irrelevant

62 Likes

**typewriter-clicks** _20/01/2020_

twitter r far too mean abt him tho

133 Likes

**yayjaysgay** _20/01/2020_

twitter are just mean generally

203 Likes

**PiperIsaNerd** _20/01/2020_

True

41 Likes

  
  


**azfellandqueers**  
  
nobodys allowed to hate on Fell like he didn't once sell me and my best friend books that weren't set to be released for months  
  
Submitted by the-lastunicorn   
  
#i dont know how he did it #but it fucking ruled #submission #az fell and queue #damn op im jealous   
  
274 notes 

  
  


**azfellandqueers**  
  
Fell and Sunglasses were once having a staring contest, and when Fell lost, he became all huffy and went "Well, it was an unfair contest anyway, seeing as snakes don't need to blink"  
  
Submitted by legendof-agatha   
  
#I genuinely think Sunglasses and the snake might be one and the same #submission #az fell and crow #the snake #az fell and queue #(mod) i mean there's already the vampire theory #this isnt much crazier than that   
  
669 notes 

  
  


**azfellandqueers**  
  
**neverenough-time** asked: I am literally begging u to elaborate on the Vampire Theory   
  
**azfellandqueers** answered: Okay SO, it's originally from [this cool book forum thread](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27532327), and the premise is essentially that AZ Fell, possibly along with his partner Crowley, is immortal, and has been running his shop since it first opened in 1800.  
  
And naturally, the best immortals are vampires.  
  
#i mean rlly can u imagine them as angels or smth #inqueeries #az fell and queue   
  
921 notes 

  
  


Antiquarian Book Collecting > London Bookshops > AZ Fell and Queers Tumblr Blog

**Galaxy-Tempest** _02/02/2020_

hey look the tumblr blog Max is obsessed w gave us a shoutout

azfellandqueers.tumblr.com/post/645473417753198592/i-am-literally-begging-u-to-elaborate

472 Likes

**brokenbibliophile** _02/02/2020_

Oh, that explains the sudden influx of people we've had

312 Likes

**theBooksteer** _02/02/2020_

i'm so proud of us

273 Likes

**yayjaysgay** _02/02/2020_

ngl the compliments from ppl in the notes are giving me an ego boost

101 Likes

**typewriter-clicks** _02/02/2020_

excuse u those compliments were directed at all of us

104 Likes

**yayjaysgay** _02/02/2020_

but it was **@theBooksteer** and i who were repeatedly called Gay Icons

285 Likes

**theBooksteer** _02/02/2020_

this may well be the peak of our relationship

576 Likes

**yayjaysgay** _02/02/2020_

i doubt it, we havent even been to the damn shop yet

200 Likes

**PiperIsaNerd** _02/02/2020_

OKAY so maybe the tumblr page is slightly good after all 

532 Likes

**Galaxy-Tempest** _02/02/2020_

mr fell is the real gay icon

457 Likes

**PiperIsaNerd** _02/02/2020_

He's a Bastard Gay Icon

696 Likes

  
  


overtherainbow ⇄ lookin-goodashell  
  
**azfellandqueers**  
  
**Customer:** It’s an outrage that you would sell _these books_ *gestures to shelf of LGBTQ fiction* alongside the word of God  
**Fell:** I’m very sorry to hear you think that way. The door is right over there.  
**Customer:** You don’t understand - _You could go to Hell for this!_  
**Fell:** Oh, I assure you, the forces of Hell wouldn’t dare return to this shop  
  
**pretty-pansy**   
  
Obviously his reaction is king shit but I'm sorry   
  
_Return???_   
  
**ohkarabast**   
  
I am absolutely dying at the implication Mr Fell has previously fought off the forces of literal Hell and won  
  
**persephonemylove**   
  
they probably came and tried to buy a book  
  
Source: azfellandqueers   
  
#stoppp im wheezing #also good on fell for taking none of that homophobic shit #coming for queue   
  
836,204 notes 

  
  


Kels @residentbisaster   
  
Listen, we can shit on it all we want, but at the end of the day AZ Fell and Co is still an amazing place run by a wonderful bastard   
  
🖤 1967 |  10:13 AM - 14 Feb 2020    
  
666 people are talking about this 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! If you enjoyed, please leave kudos/comments, and feel free to leave suggestions for other silly things you'd like to see in this series :)


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